Cherries Jubilee for dessert?

"Don't dream it, be it. ....In those days desires weren't allowed to become realities, so fantasy was substituted for them, films, books, pictures, they called it, 'Art'. But when your desires become reality you don't need fantasy any longer, or art."



I've changed my mind. I'm going to be Amyl Nitrate next Halloween. Derek Jarman's Jubilee was in my Netflix queue (but far low on the list) and it just so happened that Color Scribble had a bootlegged copy of it at her house today so I just popped it in the player. Wow. Why haven't I seen this earlier in my life, like say when I was in my late teens, when I was discovering The Slits and the Riot Grrrls were my unmitigated heroines? Why was I not informed of this most important movie about formidable punk girls, about absolute beauty and destruction of apocalyptic Britain, about music(!!!), about alienation of all sorts (my sorts) and about rebellion in the face of an economic downward spiral (kinda like today no?).

While watching Jubilee, it reminded me of Godard's La Chinoise which I watched late last month. I really feel that these two films are connected together somehow, a mouthpiece for each decade, 70s and 60s respectively. There are the political graffitied slogans, the didactic dialogue, absurd historical (& fatalistic) context, and of course, the favored witty irony. Is that perhaps the reason why I'm so attracted to Amyl Nitrate? That she perhaps could be a character straight out of a Godard film?

"Scum. That's commercial. It's all they deserve."

Thanks

While waiting to be seated at one of our favorite restaurants in Little Saigon for brunch today, I was wondering how old my folks were when they fled Vietnam. Mom said, "31" and dad said, "39." Then my sis said, "makes me feel like I haven't done shit in my life." I agreed, "Yeah me too. We're assholes." It's amazing to think that my parents left their prominent life in Vietnam so that my sister and I could have a "prominent" life here in America.

39 years together...

Today


Refugees


Honeymoon


Wedding


First Date

Nightwood: Only the impossible lasts forever; with time it is made accessible.

Dykey?

In this past month, I've been made aware that I look and act like a dyke from several unbiased and reliable sources. Like seriously, no joke. It took me by surprise. Is it because I like to dress in mens' shirts, baggy mens' cardies, a blazer here and there... that I read books such as Barnes' Nightwood, (I'm almost finished and it's just perfectly pretentious like me, full of rhythm + musical pattern like a perfect song, yes a poem!), that only on rare occasions I will wear make-up (such as Halloween for dramatic effect) and that I love being with the ladies (that's Ladies of Substance you dolt!)... I mean, why not, they're just awesome! Harder, better, faster, stronger, you know it's the truth, there's no denying it... The girly girls at my last job used to call me "butch" and "dyke." Those are terms of endearment I think! If I live in say, Berlin or London, I would be considered a total girly girl but not so here in sunny and idyllic Los Angeles. Here in LA, if you got it, you flaunt it and if you don't, well you try to get it to flaunt it. It's a bit crass isn't it? What shall I do? Please advise...


East coast LOS. I'm just besotted with these ladies. I must see you soon again. You almost (almost) make me think it could be worth it to move to NYC (but not Brooklyn)... Shigenobu Twilight, your scent is with me everything single day!


Broadway & Owley... Dykey? Butchy? Yes definitely... The ultimate couple right? The view is beautiful right? Je t'aime...

Solo Sunny

Last month, I started Netflix. I only watch foreign films and comedies (Harold & Kumar was pretty funny). I had forgotten about my queue. Then Solo Sunny arrived in the mail and I watched it on a rare lazy Saturday afternoon. It reminded me of when I was in Berlin a few months ago. I wished I had given it a better, more thorough and thoughtful chance. I think it was everyone telling me how I was going to fall in love with it. I didn't. But this movie makes me want to go revisit and stroll down those decayed, exquisite city streets of Frankfurter Allee and Prenzlauer Allee.

Owl Jolson

Shigenobu Twilight, my new crush, the new master kook (but Kusama is #1, yes of course), offered an enlightened prescription to fellow solo kook in training last night... "We gots to get you a crush. Crushes are the ultimate form of potlatch. They're all gift and no haggling." And attached this for me to watch before I went to sleep... I really must go to NYC now for an in-person kook session, to be learn from the master herself. I'm besotted...

Sometimes Chimes...

Last night was like going back in time... that time in my life when I obsessed with getting every 7" single on Sarah Records at Mod Lang (I love meself a complete collection here and there), when I was reading history and learning french, when I was saving my all pennies for every show and every band tee, when I made mix cassette tapes for the boy (and sometimes girl) I had a crush on (but mostly just for my friends)... last night felt that exciting. It was early 90s indie rock all over again... Especially when I saw one of the many merch tables with a display which instantly caught my eye:

And then I looked up and saw a further t-shirt on display.

My first reaction was wtf!!! Who made this and who's selling it and has it been authorized? All superficial but natural reactions. Did it matter? Absolutely not. Not when the merch girl was an adorable 21 year old who adore these bands so much that she had to make these tees regardless that they're completely bootlegged (that's me thinking from an ex-familial greedy business point of view btw). But this is indie rock, it's supposed to be this way, it can't be any other way. It's like me putting up all these gems for you because I just love them so much. It's just oozing out of me wanting to share why this is so important, well at least for me... I know I'm selfish.

And then I ran into Eberhard and Fishbeck and it warmed my heart tremendously. Of course they would be at the PTP festival (just like me). They are the very core of my musical existence. We grew up loving the same thing, discovering that same sound and even now, we are fans. I was a fan of Poastal, of Black Fantastic. I was their fan. Then they became my fans. It's that kind of undying love... Fishbeck said the most amazing thing last night when explaining what Hedi means to him: "Darren, Brandt and Rex... they were my college. Hedi, now he's my grad school."

further is not ripe yet for the masses. The day of reckoning will come soon... but now, enjoy this selection so very dear to me tonight, just the hits as always...

surfing pointers
ferrets + weasels
duck pond
isabel
quiet riot grrl

---

I offered my superior expertise to Broadway and worked Ariel's merch table while he and band played. My OCD was in full effect. Every button, cd, vinyl, tee... flawlessly arranged. I knew the selling points. Shows, touring, advancing, the drive, napping, loading in, out, soundcheck, waiting, buyout, waiting, the chit chat, waiting, hanging out, the merch table, the chit chat, waiting, hanging out, settling, waiting, and of course, playing... I know it's not all that bad. There are these little perfect moments that can't be experienced in any other way. I had fun.

And at the end of the night, well I scored this tee as a trade for a old further single she didn't have in her collection which luckily, I have an extra.

I couldn't say to your face that I won't be around anymore...

Last weekend, I went to the desert with Broadway (an OTP + core member of FFC, and definitely a LOS, but more on this later...) The motivation was to go to Giggles + Wiggles' Art Swap Meet (part of HDTS) and to meet up with the East Coast OTP, fellow LOS, to partake in the first FFC field trip and to just have fun in the sun.


And the soundtrack to this weekend? Arthur Russell's "Love Is Overtaking Me." The loveliest album I've heard this year. Go see Matt Wolf's brilliant documentary, "A Wild Combination" on this chivalrous knight. Listen to this, this, that and this !!! and then ask yourself if love is overtaking you... like it has with me.


We drove straight to the inaugural exhibition of WVICA and made it time to see Douglas Armour perform his lovely pop gems underneath the brightest stars in Wonder Valley. It was a good sign to what was to come...


Digging it out to get out.


Wonder Valley. Somewhere vast, dark and wondrous.


Fall Fitness Club's first field trip. Location: Cap Rock, Joshua Tree National Park. Weather: Perfect, juste parfait. We knew what we had to do. So we did it. We climbed that thing. No sweat.


No sweat.


On the other side. In all my years coming here, it took a LOS (that's Lady of Substance you dolt!) and not a guy to do this with... funny how that goes these days for me...


Loving it.

it's just casual

I'm not gonna consider this as the usual "serious" post but I cannot resist the temptation to blog tonight even though I have no time for this right now, especially this month... but I love my blog (j'adore!) so I'm making the time, I guess it's just that important? Well, yes it is... totalement indispensable! I'm actually using my old powerbook I am borrowing from Mr. Bickerson (can you believe it? what steps we've both taken!) as my precious macbook is somewhere in Appleland (i.e. Texas) getting mended and hopefully tomorrow, it'll be returned to moi in its original glory, all shiny and new. I really believe karma has bitten me in the ass... within the same week as me getting an iPhone (finally), my macbook acts up on me. I guess the lesson here is not to be hypocritical. I hate you Blackberry!

I've been pretty excited lately (it's been awesome with adventures) which I will go in further detail later this week when life resumes once my beloved mac is back in my arms. But I want to share a couple of quick things I've been obsessed with this week: (all superficial rather... again, I am being duplicitous as my purpose in life of late is trying to get rid of my material things but here I go again, wanting and wanting and wanting...)

1. Thursday is the day. I've already endlessly looked at the entire collection, mens and womens. CDG for H&M. OMFG. This will get its own post, a full analysis, a total discourse that will blow your mind. I swear. I promise...

2. The Margiela Gift Bow Ring. A gift in form of a gift! A double gift! The ultimate gift! Oh dear, I know I've been a good girl this year... this is number one on my list for Santa. Propose to me with this and I'll prolly say YES! I still believe! It's just that good! Yum yum piggy's bum...

People couldn't believe what I'd become...

Seriously, I was possessed today. I've been on the waiting list at my local AT&T for the new BB Bold which becomes available tomorrow. My current one is on its last legs, it barely works, the battery dies instantly and I don't even get email anymore! It's been overused, misused and abused; I've pillaged it like it was My Lai.

So I've been talking to anyone who would listen to why BBs are infinitely superior, the practicality of its "copy & paste," its quiet confidence, its refined elegance, a tour de force, but mainly and (un)fortunately, it was my sick sadistic love for bbm that has propelled me to this hypocritical hullabaloo. And out of nowhere today, I was compelled to end it all. This evening, I drove to the Apple store and bought myself an iPhone. And 30 minutes later, a new era began. Just like what's gonna happen tomorrow... I'm so amped to vote. All my friends, ALL MY FRIENDS, EVERYONE OF MY FRIENDS, EVERYONE I FUCKING KNOW, we're just so stoked for tomorrow. In the next 24 hours, my city, this country will go insane, absolutely mental. And like Akon, it's gonna determine if I plan on staying in this country or go elsewhere.

PLEASE VOTE TOMORROW!!!

All Hallows' Even

I haven't dressed up for Halloween in ages and wasn't planning on it this year but G convinced me last minute and said that I've been wanting to be Yayoi Kusama for a while now so why stay at home when I can chill chez moi on any other night? He even offered to paint the polka dots on me... How could I refuse such an offer? And so I was committed for the night, no flaking whatsoever. Turned out to be so much fun, I even danced for what seemed like a considerable time and felt like I was 26 again, with not a care in the world! It would have been perfect if Lil' Wizzy's "A Millie" & Akon's "Right Now (na na na)" were both played! It was that kind of night. I mean, c'mon! I was just wearing a leotard and felt pretty okay about it!

It got a bit repetitive by end of night trying to explain who I was... rudimentary kids... everyone should know who she is!

[Ideally, I wanted black polka dots on yellow but I didn't want to be confused as a bumble bee (stripes, circles, they're all the same to most) and I guess orange dots would have been more festive but I played it safe.]


The best costume goes to Sonny's Ghandi costume. He was impossibly unrecognizable. Awesome.


Lolita and Snow White


Remember what you have to do first thing Tuesday morning... I guess you can check ur facebook first.

P.S. I already know what I want to be next year. I'm going to be Fitzcarraldo. Just finished watching the film and it's wacky but totally amazing!