Monday, January 12, 2009

The Jerk's New Year's Resolution

I didn't make a top ten list last month. Why bother? If you're an Owley fan, you should already know what I've been into. And if you don't, then get lost! You have no business here. Scat! And I don't usually make any sort of resolutions, well except to not hang out with 1. Douche Bags (somebody who is a complete retard and doesn't know anything about what they're talking about), 2. Jesus Freaks (someone who talks freely to too many people about their beliefs and not necessarily about Jesus, more like someone who acts like a born-again Christian. It's all about quality, not quantity; don't spread yourself too thin here) and 3. Socially Driven & Cultural Parasites (no need for explanation). But the most hated of all are Presumptuous Jerks who go about waving their finger in the air! IT IS about action and not just about words. Dude, chill, you take yourself too seriously. Can we have a laugh here or do you not have a sense of humor? Yes it's rad to be confident, cheeky and awesome but don't preach to me about your lifestyle and how I should go about with mine! I make character assessments, not assassinations. Yes, I judge but for good reason. I'm perfectly content with my perfect life thank you very much.

So for my New Year's resolution, I've decided that I am not going to make any new friends starting this year. If I know you or have met you by NYE 2008, congrats, you've made the cut. I have enough friends, my beloved friends, mon cherie, who I love dearly, endlessly, infinitely. That'll do.

The Jerk xoxo

p.s. Alright, I'll make exceptions but you have to be special, like I have to "fall in love with you" special, like Lawrence Heyward special, like that.