Monday, December 29, 2008

My history with Lawrence, part 2

I'm still utterly addicted (and I don't think nor desire this condition to ever go away). Bow down to the genius of Lawrence...

"I said those true stories are the hardest to sell..."

"You're so semi-precious about life and you won't let your feelings show."

the song Middle of the Road:

the band Middle of the Road:

All those nights I danced to electric rock'n'roll...

"A massive shot of meth won't help you at the DDU"

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


Drunk on so many things tonight as the sis drove us home to our folks, Martin Gore's "Somebody" came on the iPod. The last time I heard this was in jr high school in my bedroom feeling v pleased that Dave Gahan and I have the same birthday. I've listened to it 7 times just now. Just bypass the banality of the lyrics, channel the 12 year old in you and you'll see how honest and heartfelt this performance is... Feel it. Love it. Martin Gore. Martin Duffy. I just might name my next pet Martin.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

My history with Lawrence

The wii mii of Lawrence:

felt... denim... go-kart mozart... from guitars to synthesizers... from melody to poetry... from poetry to melody.

I like whiny voices: Dylan, L Reed, Dan Bejar, John Darnielle, Mr. Bickerson... but I have a special spot in my heart for Lawrence. No need to tell you of his epic history as it's better written and documented elsewhere. McGee said it best here.

10 singles, 10 albums, 10 years. 10. 100. 1. 0. 10. 10. 10. 100. 1000. 0. 1. Perfect.

The World is as Soft as Lace
I knew I was going to fall in love with this song when I first read the title. The most beautiful song on their second album. Deebank's delicate, sublime classical and guitar work brings Lawrence's poetry to life. As elegant as love, this always breaks my heart.

The first verse: "…If I could, I would change the world / But you know my visions they're absurd / And all my great plans get blurred / By the softest touch, the gentlest word…."

Song for William S. Harvey
As dark and serious as Lawrence could be sometimes, how fun is this song? A bit cheeky eh? Deebank had just left but luckily Duffy comes in with his Hammond organ. I die. I die so hard for this song. I hear something new each time I listen to it. It makes me feel giddy and I can't stand still when I hear it. Why can't people recognize that this is POP, massive pop, candy coated pop, kiddie pop, France Gall Les Sucettes kinda pop.

Riding on the Equator
I think I've listened to this one particular song more than any other song in my life. If I am influenced by anything, anyone, this is it. Duffy brings what Deebank brought in the form of keys. And the exquisite dueling guitars: nothing aggressive about it, it's like sharing a dish, it's like opening the door for someone, it's like manners... the best manners.

Ben (my old bandmate) with Duffy circa 2003 somewhere in Europe... Mojo once said I was the demon "Duffy" of my old band! Do you know how high of a compliment that is? The highest. But how did they know I was a demon?

Dripping with sarcasm, backed by the Glitter Band, it's Denim on Ice.

Tampax Advert
I took nitrous once to try to speak and sing like this... I can relate.

Glue and Smack
negative, negative, positive:
"My gay friends said that all naked women look like slaughtered pigs / They're caged anorexics, bulimics, put junkies heads on sticks / They're white washed cathedrals and thirteenth century ships."

City of the Dead + Men Look at Women
Denim Take Over - this was supposed to be the 4th album but never released. Some of the tracks were later released on the second Go Kart album but with different versions and different lyrics. Let me know if you want it. It's a bit of genius.

This is when it gets a bit insane... fully synthesized... back to the bedroom.

Sailor Boy
We're Selfish and Lazy and Greedy
Delta Echo Echo Beta Alpha Neon Kettle (DEEBANK!!!)

Ben with Lawrence around 6 years ago at our London show! Lovely guy. Yes, he had a rather large bandage on his neck (that was kinda peeling off) but he was wearing YSL!!! When I look at this picture, I still can't believe it.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Shigenobu Twilight

Calling all Owleys in the NY area (and not just LOS).... you better go to this.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

FFC (Special Holiday Edition)

It's gone all awry now. I don't know how it happened. As the co-founder of FFC (Fall Fitness Club), I've been very good about keeping it strictly ladies only but today something different happened. Special NY friends in town; how could I deprive them of this beautiful California weather in December? (What's the temperature in NY right now?) And we were already at Trails... a Fern Dell hike to Griffith Observatory was obvious... even necessary... Wiggles & I had to show why LA is THE place to be... it was the only polite thing to do.

* To activate the other portal which gives you access to James Dean's fantasies and powers, you must put your two fingers into his eyes. Tim was brave enough and took the risk for all of us to experience this magical, one-in-a-lifetime adventure. Think lasers...
** We ran into Ariel + Cole who had just missed the Planetarium show. I told them to wait for the next showing as it was must! Who wouldn't want to see a show about the history of the stars?

Saturday, December 13, 2008


After our "conflicting" events last night, I met up with Wiggles and we did some OTPing at Art Center's MFA thesis show reception. Maybe it was the tequila mixed with Red Bull mixed with some Stoli mixed with water but we were a bit stunned by what we saw. It wasn't even 4am at Sway on a Sunday! It was barely midnight in the parking lot of the school! Straight (it was obvs after speaking to them) skinny cute art boys just loving each other and singing along to Rihanna and Lil' Wayne. We left... Obviously, our attendance was not needed.

This entry is dedicated to Alexi's compelling Boys Boys Boys blog. Don't be fooled by the overall apparent message, dig a bit deeper and you'll see how amazing it truly is... What I'm taking from it is that it's okay to be a bit bloated (just don't be thick) and make-up is not required. These are transparent and illusory; they are expected social mores. Socially driven dudes (gosh they are just everywhere in LA) will fall for it, even think it's required! BUT all it takes is a bit of wit, charm and having an awesome blog...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

With the spirit of a hustler and the swagger of a college kid...

Yeah that's me... He & I are the same.

I made this in haste. Actually my iTunes made it for me. Seriously, it was on shuffle last night and I picked the first 33 songs it played. I've been playing you guys like fools... as if I could put together a great mix (or even a passable one at that)! I've been extremely lucky (with the help of my iTunes of course)! With all the onslaught blogs telling you what is what these days, is there discernment? Is there personal taste? Are we human, or are we dancer? I'm just a fundy follower like everyone else I hang out with...

Cheery Christmas! Click here to download (be patient, it'll take some time). xoxo

Monday, December 08, 2008

Trimming the Tree

What was supposed to be just a simple tree turned out lovelier than expected! Color Scribble & Shades came over for a 3.5-course dinner last night and started putting the nicknacks from my living room onto my tree! Finally, they've come to some use! It was all good last night; so many good compliments, erm... wow... "you're so domestic," "you're a good egg, definitely not a scrambled one," and my favorite, "you should be a housewife!" Yes I was once (albeit brief)! I've had some proper practice though I'm a bit rusty these days being single and all (always A+ still you know, that's the A in me)... And 3 bottles of wine later, I handsomely won Scrabble!

The Muslim prayer clock TED got for me last year from Morocco.

Clockwise (from the bottom left): the Japanese bird Jenny got for me for my bday this past year, the man in a white dishdasha with his national symbol, the falcon which I got when I was in Dubai a few years ago (unfortunately you can barely see this), the Catalina Island horse YP gave me when we went there last year, the fat red-suited man bearing gifts the first Ex gave me when he returned from Columbia and of course, the beloved golden Lucky Cat from Little Saigon. Isn't this a handsome tree?

And how appropriate is this? The wooden Buddha Witty got for me from Thailand and my lucky egg from Romania!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

4 (Pete's Sake)

So I went to Kenny's studio to have a listen to Mr. Bickerson's "unmixed" tracks tonight. I guess I'm back in the music bizzzzzz... I've been roped into managing Mr. Bickerson (as a solo artist... not personally, just to assure you skeptics). I do have to say that Banned is an incredible song (with a little more mixing, it'll be perfect). The first track on the album for sure, a continuation of the plot, part 4 of the story which began with All My Bastard Children, then to A Loner and Separate Cars and then now, it's Banned. We were friends before, we are friends again, it was just that "our march was out of time." Banned the band.

Monday, December 01, 2008

On Cyber Monday, my true love gave to me...

It's been years, but I felt like getting a tree this year. I no longer have any ornaments but I made do with these red bows. Looking at it makes me feel good and ready to bake some gingerbread cookies for my neighbor. A lovely phone call from a lovelier friend called it "nostalgic."

May I suggest listening to Belle & Sebastian's The BBC Sessions while decorating your tree? No Christmas songs please... Not yet anyways... Thanks to ds for the tracks; I can't stop listening to these versions.

The best lines from "Lazy Jane" - (try staying still to this song, you just can't... I love Belle & Sebastian so much.)
"Boo to the business world!
You know a girl who's tax free on her back and making
Plenty cash
While you are working for the joy of giving"

Now I can checkout all my online shopping items... especially this precious item... I can't wait to get this all the way from Glasgow.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Cherries Jubilee for dessert?

"Don't dream it, be it. ....In those days desires weren't allowed to become realities, so fantasy was substituted for them, films, books, pictures, they called it, 'Art'. But when your desires become reality you don't need fantasy any longer, or art."

I've changed my mind. I'm going to be Amyl Nitrate next Halloween. Derek Jarman's Jubilee was in my Netflix queue (but far low on the list) and it just so happened that Color Scribble had a bootlegged copy of it at her house today so I just popped it in the player. Wow. Why haven't I seen this earlier in my life, like say when I was in my late teens, when I was discovering The Slits and the Riot Grrrls were my unmitigated heroines? Why was I not informed of this most important movie about formidable punk girls, about absolute beauty and destruction of apocalyptic Britain, about music(!!!), about alienation of all sorts (my sorts) and about rebellion in the face of an economic downward spiral (kinda like today no?).

While watching Jubilee, it reminded me of Godard's La Chinoise which I watched late last month. I really feel that these two films are connected together somehow, a mouthpiece for each decade, 70s and 60s respectively. There are the political graffitied slogans, the didactic dialogue, absurd historical (& fatalistic) context, and of course, the favored witty irony. Is that perhaps the reason why I'm so attracted to Amyl Nitrate? That she perhaps could be a character straight out of a Godard film?

"Scum. That's commercial. It's all they deserve."

Thursday, November 27, 2008


While waiting to be seated at one of our favorite restaurants in Little Saigon for brunch today, I was wondering how old my folks were when they fled Vietnam. Mom said, "31" and dad said, "39." Then my sis said, "makes me feel like I haven't done shit in my life." I agreed, "Yeah me too. We're assholes." It's amazing to think that my parents left their prominent life in Vietnam so that my sister and I could have a "prominent" life here in America.

39 years together...





First Date

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Nightwood: Only the impossible lasts forever; with time it is made accessible.


In this past month, I've been made aware that I look and act like a dyke from several unbiased and reliable sources. Like seriously, no joke. It took me by surprise. Is it because I like to dress in mens' shirts, baggy mens' cardies, a blazer here and there... that I read books such as Barnes' Nightwood, (I'm almost finished and it's just perfectly pretentious like me, full of rhythm + musical pattern like a perfect song, yes a poem!), that only on rare occasions I will wear make-up (such as Halloween for dramatic effect) and that I love being with the ladies (that's Ladies of Substance you dolt!)... I mean, why not, they're just awesome! Harder, better, faster, stronger, you know it's the truth, there's no denying it... The girly girls at my last job used to call me "butch" and "dyke." Those are terms of endearment I think! If I live in say, Berlin or London, I would be considered a total girly girl but not so here in sunny and idyllic Los Angeles. Here in LA, if you got it, you flaunt it and if you don't, well you try to get it to flaunt it. It's a bit crass isn't it? What shall I do? Please advise...

East coast LOS. I'm just besotted with these ladies. I must see you soon again. You almost (almost) make me think it could be worth it to move to NYC (but not Brooklyn)... Shigenobu Twilight, your scent is with me everything single day!

Broadway & Owley... Dykey? Butchy? Yes definitely... The ultimate couple right? The view is beautiful right? Je t'aime...

Monday, November 24, 2008

Solo Sunny

Last month, I started Netflix. I only watch foreign films and comedies (Harold & Kumar was pretty funny). I had forgotten about my queue. Then Solo Sunny arrived in the mail and I watched it on a rare lazy Saturday afternoon. It reminded me of when I was in Berlin a few months ago. I wished I had given it a better, more thorough and thoughtful chance. I think it was everyone telling me how I was going to fall in love with it. I didn't. But this movie makes me want to go revisit and stroll down those decayed, exquisite city streets of Frankfurter Allee and Prenzlauer Allee.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Owl Jolson

Shigenobu Twilight, my new crush, the new master kook (but Kusama is #1, yes of course), offered an enlightened prescription to fellow solo kook in training last night... "We gots to get you a crush. Crushes are the ultimate form of potlatch. They're all gift and no haggling." And attached this for me to watch before I went to sleep... I really must go to NYC now for an in-person kook session, to be learn from the master herself. I'm besotted...

Monday, November 17, 2008

Sometimes Chimes...

Last night was like going back in time... that time in my life when I obsessed with getting every 7" single on Sarah Records at Mod Lang (I love meself a complete collection here and there), when I was reading history and learning french, when I was saving my all pennies for every show and every band tee, when I made mix cassette tapes for the boy (and sometimes girl) I had a crush on (but mostly just for my friends)... last night felt that exciting. It was early 90s indie rock all over again... Especially when I saw one of the many merch tables with a display which instantly caught my eye:

And then I looked up and saw a further t-shirt on display.

My first reaction was wtf!!! Who made this and who's selling it and has it been authorized? All superficial but natural reactions. Did it matter? Absolutely not. Not when the merch girl was an adorable 21 year old who adore these bands so much that she had to make these tees regardless that they're completely bootlegged (that's me thinking from an ex-familial greedy business point of view btw). But this is indie rock, it's supposed to be this way, it can't be any other way. It's like me putting up all these gems for you because I just love them so much. It's just oozing out of me wanting to share why this is so important, well at least for me... I know I'm selfish.

And then I ran into Eberhard and Fishbeck and it warmed my heart tremendously. Of course they would be at the PTP festival (just like me). They are the very core of my musical existence. We grew up loving the same thing, discovering that same sound and even now, we are fans. I was a fan of Poastal, of Black Fantastic. I was their fan. Then they became my fans. It's that kind of undying love... Fishbeck said the most amazing thing last night when explaining what Hedi means to him: "Darren, Brandt and Rex... they were my college. Hedi, now he's my grad school."

further is not ripe yet for the masses. The day of reckoning will come soon... but now, enjoy this selection so very dear to me tonight, just the hits as always...

surfing pointers
ferrets + weasels
duck pond
quiet riot grrl


I offered my superior expertise to Broadway and worked Ariel's merch table while he and band played. My OCD was in full effect. Every button, cd, vinyl, tee... flawlessly arranged. I knew the selling points. Shows, touring, advancing, the drive, napping, loading in, out, soundcheck, waiting, buyout, waiting, the chit chat, waiting, hanging out, the merch table, the chit chat, waiting, hanging out, settling, waiting, and of course, playing... I know it's not all that bad. There are these little perfect moments that can't be experienced in any other way. I had fun.

And at the end of the night, well I scored this tee as a trade for a old further single she didn't have in her collection which luckily, I have an extra.

Friday, November 14, 2008

I couldn't say to your face that I won't be around anymore...

Last weekend, I went to the desert with Broadway (an OTP + core member of FFC, and definitely a LOS, but more on this later...) The motivation was to go to Giggles + Wiggles' Art Swap Meet (part of HDTS) and to meet up with the East Coast OTP, fellow LOS, to partake in the first FFC field trip and to just have fun in the sun.

And the soundtrack to this weekend? Arthur Russell's "Love Is Overtaking Me." The loveliest album I've heard this year. Go see Matt Wolf's brilliant documentary, "A Wild Combination" on this chivalrous knight. Listen to this, this, that and this !!! and then ask yourself if love is overtaking you... like it has with me.

We drove straight to the inaugural exhibition of WVICA and made it time to see Douglas Armour perform his lovely pop gems underneath the brightest stars in Wonder Valley. It was a good sign to what was to come...

Digging it out to get out.

Wonder Valley. Somewhere vast, dark and wondrous.

Fall Fitness Club's first field trip. Location: Cap Rock, Joshua Tree National Park. Weather: Perfect, juste parfait. We knew what we had to do. So we did it. We climbed that thing. No sweat.

No sweat.

On the other side. In all my years coming here, it took a LOS (that's Lady of Substance you dolt!) and not a guy to do this with... funny how that goes these days for me...

Loving it.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

it's just casual

I'm not gonna consider this as the usual "serious" post but I cannot resist the temptation to blog tonight even though I have no time for this right now, especially this month... but I love my blog (j'adore!) so I'm making the time, I guess it's just that important? Well, yes it is... totalement indispensable! I'm actually using my old powerbook I am borrowing from Mr. Bickerson (can you believe it? what steps we've both taken!) as my precious macbook is somewhere in Appleland (i.e. Texas) getting mended and hopefully tomorrow, it'll be returned to moi in its original glory, all shiny and new. I really believe karma has bitten me in the ass... within the same week as me getting an iPhone (finally), my macbook acts up on me. I guess the lesson here is not to be hypocritical. I hate you Blackberry!

I've been pretty excited lately (it's been awesome with adventures) which I will go in further detail later this week when life resumes once my beloved mac is back in my arms. But I want to share a couple of quick things I've been obsessed with this week: (all superficial rather... again, I am being duplicitous as my purpose in life of late is trying to get rid of my material things but here I go again, wanting and wanting and wanting...)

1. Thursday is the day. I've already endlessly looked at the entire collection, mens and womens. CDG for H&M. OMFG. This will get its own post, a full analysis, a total discourse that will blow your mind. I swear. I promise...

2. The Margiela Gift Bow Ring. A gift in form of a gift! A double gift! The ultimate gift! Oh dear, I know I've been a good girl this year... this is number one on my list for Santa. Propose to me with this and I'll prolly say YES! I still believe! It's just that good! Yum yum piggy's bum...

Monday, November 03, 2008

People couldn't believe what I'd become...

Seriously, I was possessed today. I've been on the waiting list at my local AT&T for the new BB Bold which becomes available tomorrow. My current one is on its last legs, it barely works, the battery dies instantly and I don't even get email anymore! It's been overused, misused and abused; I've pillaged it like it was My Lai.

So I've been talking to anyone who would listen to why BBs are infinitely superior, the practicality of its "copy & paste," its quiet confidence, its refined elegance, a tour de force, but mainly and (un)fortunately, it was my sick sadistic love for bbm that has propelled me to this hypocritical hullabaloo. And out of nowhere today, I was compelled to end it all. This evening, I drove to the Apple store and bought myself an iPhone. And 30 minutes later, a new era began. Just like what's gonna happen tomorrow... I'm so amped to vote. All my friends, ALL MY FRIENDS, EVERYONE OF MY FRIENDS, EVERYONE I FUCKING KNOW, we're just so stoked for tomorrow. In the next 24 hours, my city, this country will go insane, absolutely mental. And like Akon, it's gonna determine if I plan on staying in this country or go elsewhere.


Saturday, November 01, 2008

All Hallows' Even

I haven't dressed up for Halloween in ages and wasn't planning on it this year but G convinced me last minute and said that I've been wanting to be Yayoi Kusama for a while now so why stay at home when I can chill chez moi on any other night? He even offered to paint the polka dots on me... How could I refuse such an offer? And so I was committed for the night, no flaking whatsoever. Turned out to be so much fun, I even danced for what seemed like a considerable time and felt like I was 26 again, with not a care in the world! It would have been perfect if Lil' Wizzy's "A Millie" & Akon's "Right Now (na na na)" were both played! It was that kind of night. I mean, c'mon! I was just wearing a leotard and felt pretty okay about it!

It got a bit repetitive by end of night trying to explain who I was... rudimentary kids... everyone should know who she is!

[Ideally, I wanted black polka dots on yellow but I didn't want to be confused as a bumble bee (stripes, circles, they're all the same to most) and I guess orange dots would have been more festive but I played it safe.]

The best costume goes to Sonny's Ghandi costume. He was impossibly unrecognizable. Awesome.

Lolita and Snow White

Remember what you have to do first thing Tuesday morning... I guess you can check ur facebook first.

P.S. I already know what I want to be next year. I'm going to be Fitzcarraldo. Just finished watching the film and it's wacky but totally amazing!

Monday, October 27, 2008

The Power of Negative Thinking

I've been trying to fight the lethargy I've been feeling lately. I've been restless, sleepless, loveless. Opted out on all social activities this weekend, and instead, tried to work on fall fitness (triumphantly) and the enrichment of my eroding mind (disastrously).

1. Watched Godard's La Chinoise with Color Scribble who wanted to see if it could pertain to her dissertation. It was maddeningly syntactic, so presumptuous, so torturous in politics, so obsolete yet absolutely necessary for today (like a nice grad school class). The self-mockery of the bougie youth, though as pretty and charming as it is, does have its limits. I won't go into my personal view of communism (as that will bore and offend some others) but the best thing about this movie is how visually stunning it is in HD. I'm in love with primary colors again.

And then luckily, Shadey had to take a piss so we got to take a break from that tedious didactic. It was hard to resume... like really hard.

2. Then, I finally got around to listening to the entire Jesus & Mary Chain's "The Power of Negative Thinking: B-Sides & Rarities" box set Kathy gave me last month. Jesus. This is fucking good. A mammoth collection that almost put me weak in the knees. Another pair of heroes reaffirmed.

listen to this
and this
and this

3. Then Kathy and I went to see Rachel Gets Married which was probably the worst movie both of us needed right now in our "delicate" state. We both thought we were going to see a romantic comedy with (my fave) Anne Hathaway but we got something else. The hand-held camera made us dizzy and the relentless subject matter was a bit too dear to both of our hearts; it messed up us all night.

4. And then Alex ichatted me tonight (on tour, he must have been bored in a lonely hotel room somewhere in Ohio) and told me to "go to London and start your own solo project." That's in the works Al... in due time...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Mr. Bickerson

The Ex, who will now be known as Mr. Bickerson [or one half of the (former) Bickersons] gave some insightful reminders tonight:

1. "This belittles your blog. You're not into cartoons."
Mr. Bickerson is referring to my last post of The Simpsons. He's right, I'm not the biggest fan, or rather, I really don't know anything about this cartoon series, never having seen one full episode. I only posted it because my friend made it and I find it clever. Well done Gregory.

2. Mr. Bickerson reminded me that the Spectrum version of "True Love Will Find You In The End" is actually the best. That's debatable but this is good, excellent rather. Listen and find out for yourself now.

3. Mr. Bickerson reiterated the genius of R Kelly. THIS IS GENIUS! YES IT IS! I teared up, that's for sure...

...And then I got this serious warning from Wiggles... (Mr. Bickerson thought this was complete nonsense.) This is for my former colleagues, so fresh + so young, and first-time voters(!); you could be me and that would seriously suck...

3am In Springfield

I don't know much about The Simpsons at all... but this is quite amusing...

Springfield, USA. - Sen McCain's robodialing has spiraled out of control. Residents, including the owner of a local powerplant, and a community religious organizer, have reportedly received an endless string of automated calls, many of them in the middle of the night.

Watch the full video report at

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


I went to the Disney Hall to see Antony & the Johnsons last week. It was very special, one of those few experiences you know is more than just a show, more than just music, it really gets in there. And I don't think I was the only one who sobbed the entire time. I can't describe how this has touched me in ways indescribable, how the last five months were brought back all at once, all blue skies and fluffy white clouds but ultimately, just blue.

Two live radio versions, accompanied by the brilliant Bernard Butler...
My Lady's Story
Hope There's Someone

Monday, October 20, 2008

The Silent Ceremony

I had the privilege of attending Jonas + Katherine's wedding. It was a silent ceremony. The sweet smell of sage lingered throughout that windy night in the hills of Echo Park and captured everyone's hearts. Such tenderness, such fire, I was overcome with emotion, how could I deny something so pure even in my current state... as the Gay Divorcée?

A Silent Ceremony but not a Quaker Ceremony. C'mon now, we are in California, not Pennsylvania.

Michael made the gorgeous flower arrangements of course. He never fails to amaze me.

It was pleasant catching up with former colleagues of mine. It's been an entire month now!

Kids just don't get it these days (as lovely as they are). Alex & Andrew, a bit bewildered with the setup but they got it together just in time...

Jane, my favorite actress. Me, as her adoring fan bordering on the obsessive (though I'm really her "unofficial" manager). She's gonna be massive I tell you. Just massive. A natural talent, a superstar!

The gay toast!